I walked out of the door of my home at 4:30 A.M. this morning. Taking the first step out of my home felt like a symbolic and physical first step in the direction of this next chapter of my life.

I tried my hardest the last couple weeks to stay as busy as possible so I wouldn't have to fully process the journey I'm about to embark on. When I think about it now the real thing I didn't want to process was what I was giving up in making this decision.

God had different plans for me in how this departure was going to go. It really hit home for me this last Wednesday at the youth group I was interning with. The youth pastor brought me up in front of the youth some people prayed over me and in preparation for the mission. Leaders, kids, my brother and sister prayed for me and it was during this time I began to feel the weight of sacrifice I was about to make.

I had gone 4 months without having to feel any of that weight and in that moment my heart hurt and I felt it.

The next and even heavier experience was when my Mom planned a send off with some family and friends. I was surprised to see who all ended up coming to this send off.

Old and new friends, role models of mine, and people that I didn't even expect. Everyone that came has had a unique impact on my life and my walk with the LORD. 

Well at the end of this get together everyone prayed again for the preparation of this journey and the mission that has been set before me. Again I felt the weight of the things I would be giving up as I walk in this season. It was in this time that the scriptures began to come alive. Jesus calls us to follow him and be like him through sacrifice. 

Ephesians 5:2

Luke 9:24

A Sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves.

-Mother Teresa